One minute, you’re making plans with a friend and looking forward to it. Twenty minutes later, you’re messaging them to cancel because you just don’t feel like it anymore. 

If you live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), that kind of mood swings might feel all too familiar. Plans change. Moods shift. Relationships feel like rollercoasters. You don’t even know why; it’s just the way it is. 

Instability is one of the most common patterns in BPD, and it shows up in relationships, self-image, and mood. For example, you might feel incredibly impulsive, maybe by binge eating, spending, substance abuse, or reckless sex or driving. Intense anger or depression are other common symptoms, which can often feel impossible to manage. 

A sense of emptiness and fear of abandonment are often underlying stressors as well, which is where an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) can have a beneficial impact. With an ESA by your side, you get constant grounding support. They’re always there, full of compassion with a judgement-free listening ear — and a routine to keep you in place.

While treating BPD with medication is helpful for some, many people are in search of additional or alternative BPD treatments. An ESA for BPD can address some things that medication can’t. Read on to learn 10 ways that ESAs can offer daily support in managing BPD. 

1. Emotional Stability

We all know how different it feels to be around a friend or parent when they’re all riled up versus in a calm, relaxed state. Proximity to someone close to us can shape our own nervous system and mood. 

For example, research shows that when we’re around someone calm and steady, our heart rate and stress hormones decrease. It’s called co-regulation, and it’s all about two beings feeding off each other’s states. That means having a calm, grounding presence in an animal nearby could allow you to feel calmer, too. 

2. Unconditional Companionship

Something incredibly difficult people with BPD deal with is a deep fear that people will leave or reject them. Holding on to a romantic relationship or even a friendship can sometimes feel overwhelming and exhausting. The effort it takes to manage the back-and-forth of feeling close or rejected can make it difficult to connect. 

With an ESA for BPD, you get a living being you know you can trust to stay by your side. Their constant companionship is a source of stability and a reminder that you’re not alone — and that you have been chosen by them. Their love doesn’t change just because you’re in bed crying. They’re there, no matter what. Over time, that kind of consistency can help you start to rebuild a sense of trust in others, too. 

3. Routine and Responsibility

Part of what can help calm anxiety is a sense of stability, which often comes through routine and structure. We’re all afraid of the unknown, so having an unpredictable day can naturally make us feel more on edge. A routine gives us something “known”, something we can rely on, which helps us feel safer and calmer. 

Caring for an emotional support animal for BPD can naturally shape a routine. Waking up to cuddle time, morning feedings, a walk, and scheduled play time — all these habits can be put into place and offer safety from the structure in your day.  

Not to mention, the sense of responsibility you gain from caring for another being. That motivation alone can give you more reason to get through the day, knowing they rely completely on you. 

4. Grounding During Emotional Crises

Emotions can hit hard with BPD. Whether it’s anger, shame, emptiness, or panic, it’s easy to spiral and feel completely disconnected from reality. It’s in moments like these that a BPD emotional support animal can step in and ground you. You could potentially even train your ESA dog to come to you, put a paw on you, or sit on you to help regulate your nervous system.

One study on pet dogs for children showed that the dogs directly buffered stress, reducing cortisol levels and perceived stress. Interacting with them also helped boost “feel-good” neurochemicals, like oxytocin and dopamine. These results suggest that a BPD emotional support animal could have a promising impact on your ability to feel calmer in hard times. 

For anyone struggling more severely, a professional can even recommend BPD service dogs. They’re specifically trained to ground and support you in tough moments. 

5. Safe Ways to Socialize

If you’re experiencing depression and anxiety, you might also feel socially anxious or just want to stay at home and never leave. The irony is that we tend to isolate ourselves when we’re upset, but socializing can make us feel better. The hard part is actually getting out the door. 

With an ESA for BPD, you might find it easier to connect with others and have something to talk about. Whether it’s bonding with another cat lover over pics of how cute your fur babies are, or just exchanging pleasantries at the dog park, it’s still something. Over time, these types of interactions can boost your confidence around others and make it feel easier to socialize. 

6. More Physical Activity

We all know moving our bodies makes us feel better (both in the short and long term), but that doesn’t make it any easier to do. Just like how depression makes us want to isolate, it also leaves us so drained that we don’t even want to leave the house. 

With an ESA, though, you have to stay some kind of active. Most dogs need 30 minutes to two hours of physical activity daily, while cats need at least 30-60 minutes of play time. Dogs might have even more of an impact on depression symptoms since they get you moving outdoors more, and walking in nature settings can also help reduce stress and depression.

7. Sense of Safety & Security

Just as we needed emotionally regulated parents as children to feel safe, we also need an emotionally calm presence around us as adults. Like we mentioned earlier, coregulation can have a massive impact on mental health symptoms. A BPD emotional support animal can give you that sense of safety and security through their presence alone. You’re not alone when they’re nearby, and you know you can rely on them to be there for you when you’re having a bad day, no matter what. 

8. Coping Tool Development

Treating BPD without medication makes learning coping tools all the more important. Even with medication, cognitive and behavioral strategies need to be put into place to manage stress and intense emotions. ESAs can help you learn to develop countless coping tools, such as:

• Mindful pauses — Walking or sitting with your ESA for a quiet moment can offer a break from racing thoughts. ‍
• Healthy distractions — Animals can be silly. They live in the moment and don’t care who’s watching. They roll around, act goofy, and make us laugh, naturally stimulating our parasympathetic (rest) nervous system. ‍
• Daily self-soothing rituals — The simple routines you set in place by caring for them can become moments for self-care, like cuddling or play time before bed to wind down for the night. ‍
• Moments for emotional check-ins — Noticing how your ESA is responding to you might set off a warning flag that something’s up. ‍
• Grounding in tough moments through tactile touch — Petting your animal, feeling their heartbeat, or brushing their fur can be calming, rhythmic moments that calm your nervous system. 

9. Stronger Self-Esteem and Confidence

Caring for an ESA can naturally boost your self-efficacy — your belief that you can do what needs to be done. With this comes a stronger sense that you are in control of your choices and behaviors. More trust in yourself can also make hard moments easier, because you believe in your ability to take care of yourself. 

A BPD emotional support animal gives you that sense of achievement purely by caring for them, like feeding them, taking them to the vet, or playing with them. Those little actions add up, giving you those small “wins” that boost your confidence in yourself. 

10. Treatment Support

An ESA isn’t a replacement for therapy, but it is a powerful complement — especially if you’re treating BPD without medication. It’s not a one-size-fits-all “fix it” approach since every animal and person is so unique, but it is part of many alternative BPD treatments. 

When you’re working through trauma and healing, an ESA can be your source of safety and stability through it all. They’re the sure thing you can come home to and know you can find some comfort in. Just knowing they’re there for you can be enough to help alleviate some of the pain you’re in. Meanwhile, the structure, sense of purpose, and routine they offer add to the list of coping tools that can help. 

If you want to find out how to get an ESA for anxiety, depression, or BPD, you can read the Pettable blog and talk with one of our licensed mental health professionals. You can also find out which animal might work best for you and if you qualify for an ESA. You don’t have to go through this process alone. Allow a professional to guide you through and help you decide if an ESA is the right choice for you.